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Things have gotten even worse. I’ve been trying many things to get better. Each has made the situation even harder to bear. I don’t know how long I will still be alive but nothing is helping.
So if anyone cares, these may be my last months before I an unable to continue on living in constant pain and depression.
This isn’t just me having a bad time, it’s a massive chemical imbalance that causes me to be useless and to suffer. Even my attempt to get a part time job shows just how unstable I am. I will keep trying to get help but so far it’s either vague treatments that take years to even help or abuse as I am ignored, taken advantage of and even sexually assaulted.
I went to my meeting but they said the person who I was supposed to see was not there. Though they had others free, my insurance only allowed me to see one, who was not there. They rescheduled me for next month. Now because of my situation, my only option to get any help fast to keep me from killing myself is to be locked and abused in a ward.
In order to try and recover, I treated myself to some food but I got food poisoning and was puking all day.
I sobbing all day and am still sobbing now thinking about all the friends I hurt because all I am now is an angry mess. No one even wants to deal with me any more with friends who gave me second chances simply blocking me as soon as I have a small relapse.
Please remember me as who I was. I was a good person, I think? I was nice and tried to help people. At least I think so. I wanted to be a good member of tumblr and cheer people up and support others. Remember me as that. Please.
I really wish TF2 had a single-player campaign, some days. It would go against everything the game was designed to have, but dammit. These characters have such personality and would have such interesting stories to play through…
the characters are ethnic stereotypes
*smooshes your cheeks together and whispers* yes it’s true they started out that way and that’s because the entire concept of tf2 is a stylized emulation of cold war era stereotypes but in the past several years the tf2verse has grown surprisingly extensive and the comics add quite a bit to who the mercs are and what makes them tick and it’s almost as if they’re multi-faceted characters with unique desires and abilities and interests that extend beyond their respectively assigned caricatures but you saw a french guy smoking a cigarette and decided to ruin a light-hearted post because no fun is allowed
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